My second "trimester"

I'm already in my sixth month of waiting. I hate to jinx it all, but the time flew. I'm quite sure my tone will be different when I'm hitting my eighth trimester, however. 

I've been able to occupy my time with the new apartment, new kitten, my nephews (aren't they gorgeous?), and that ever pesky job. My latest stress is figuring just how the hell I'm going to survive on parental leave (I've stopped calling it maternity leave, since I'm not a real mother according the federal government or my employer).

Those are my thoughts for the day. That and 15 MORE SLEEPS 'TIL WE LEAVE FOR HAWAII!

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~ Khalil Gibran

One blog post every 9 months? Sounds about right.

I think about my child-to-be (and birth mom) every day, but push it far down to maintain my sanity. Two couples from my adoption education program were expecting over the holidays. One couple is pregnant and due in a few weeks. I wasn't even jealous when they told me! So happy for them, and my fingers and toes are crossed for a healthy delivery.

The other couple has had a terrible string of bad luck. They got caught in the Imagine bankruptcy last summer. They decided to look to the US, and got chosen fairly quickly by a birth mother. Sadly for them, the birth mother decided to keep her daughter. I found out less than an hour ago, and I've been quite numb since then. Tears dropped, though only an iota of what they've shed, I'm sure. Yet another reminder of how fragile the motherhood process is at the best of times, and how many extra uncontrollable variables there are in adoption. I felt like a useless fool in my email response to them. What can I possibly say? "You're young. At least you're not my age." Hardly. Platitudes suck.

All I can do is wish them well, which I do. Then I will have to push it far down to maintain my sanity.

Must now spend time with new kitten to lift my spirits.