One blog post every 9 months? Sounds about right.

I think about my child-to-be (and birth mom) every day, but push it far down to maintain my sanity. Two couples from my adoption education program were expecting over the holidays. One couple is pregnant and due in a few weeks. I wasn't even jealous when they told me! So happy for them, and my fingers and toes are crossed for a healthy delivery.

The other couple has had a terrible string of bad luck. They got caught in the Imagine bankruptcy last summer. They decided to look to the US, and got chosen fairly quickly by a birth mother. Sadly for them, the birth mother decided to keep her daughter. I found out less than an hour ago, and I've been quite numb since then. Tears dropped, though only an iota of what they've shed, I'm sure. Yet another reminder of how fragile the motherhood process is at the best of times, and how many extra uncontrollable variables there are in adoption. I felt like a useless fool in my email response to them. What can I possibly say? "You're young. At least you're not my age." Hardly. Platitudes suck.

All I can do is wish them well, which I do. Then I will have to push it far down to maintain my sanity.

Must now spend time with new kitten to lift my spirits.